Termite Queen

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This special Mother's Day message goes out to the mother of all mothers. In this modern age where many women find themselves raising children, doing housework, running errands, carting kids to school events, all while holding down a day job, it is nice to know there are still some who think it's okay to be a stay-at-home mom. You go, girl. This article is dedicated to you, for not being ashamed to lay on your fat butt all day, every day, popping out kids. Here is just one of the many reasons you deserve a little Mother's Day love.

One of the greatest sacrifices a mother can make for her child is often swept under the rug and never discussed. Though pregnancy comes with a lot of wonderful things, like bloating, sweating, aching, nausea and unfathomable food cravings, these are all passing issues. Even childbirth itself, excruciating and traumatic as it can be, is only a blip on the radar of life. Once these discomforts have passed, they are lost in hollow phantoms of time. Stretch marks? Yeah. Not so much. But they are a small price to pay for a lifetime of smiles, hugs, and kisses. Aren't they?

The termite queen feels the same way--well, she must, because that girl pushes out more than 100 termite babies a day without any concern for her figure. With each egg, her abdomen extends farther, until she isn't even able to move anymore. She just lays in one spot, mating and popping out more babies. But it is a sacrifice she is willing to make to be the center of the universe. She doesn't have to run to the store to get ice cream, her children get all of her food for her. She doesn't have to worry about holding down a job, her family does all the work. She doesn't even have to clean the place up. All the duties of the colony are taken care of by the crazy number of children she keeps having, almost none stop. All she has to do is lay there and look pretty--well, at least lay there.

So, to all you termite queens, we wish you a very happy Mother's Day. Thank you for filling our lives with love and our homes with your babies. Thanks for making our doors and windows stick, our walls and floors sag, and our support beams bend. Without your daily dedication, our lives just wouldn't be the same--unarguably better--but still, not the same. You are the mother of all mothers. Seriously. Thanks for showing us what it means to be a mom. A fat lazy mom who makes her kids do all the work. You are an inspiration. You inspire us to get termite protection for our homes. And for that, we thank you.

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